lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
