just survived the first fart of the relationship.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
