Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
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I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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