More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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