...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
two words...techno handjob
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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