its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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