whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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