I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
