and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
