Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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