I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
