Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
home. puking in laundry basket.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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