The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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