How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
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The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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