weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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