if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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