I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
