My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
