Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
