lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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