I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
