The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
