remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
