I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
