so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
