I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
