My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize