You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
