i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
