please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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