A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
