I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
