Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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