people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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