so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
