Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
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I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
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You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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