i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize