Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
