I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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