the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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