I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
