so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
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Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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