Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
