you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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