it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize