I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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