bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
