Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Jerry, you need to find god
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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