i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
