Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
