Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
