worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
