I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
