Non-Jews are for practice
worst night to have a conscience
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
