Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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