oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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