Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Success! We fucked roommates!
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